Today is one of those days when you wake up feeling so vulnerable for unknown reasons. Well, if i say unknown reasons probably i am trying to just be dramatic and such....Should i just say that i am craving for some loving? probably, but then what good would it do me?... I guess i was meant to be alone for the rest of my life... I came across this statement and it sure describes me: “I
wish I knew how to love someone without killing myself. How to mend
hearts without breaking my own. How to kiss and not create bruises.”
— Michelle K., Things I Wish I Knew How To Do"....
I am an hopeless romantic, that's for sure. I end up hurting myself when i get involved with someone. I honestly don't know how to get sexual with someone without getting my feelings involved. Silly me i know but that's how i am. In simpler terms, i don't know how to sleep with someone kill the urge. I end up getting my feelings involved and that's how i end up getting hurt... I am listening to "Toni Braxton, I hate love and i have all these emotions flaring up and all that... Since yesterday night i feel this way... I know you will want to know what triggered it... well, i was on phone with a dear one for hours and i guess our conversation triggered all these emotions. Can you believe it, i haven't even met this person face to face yet and yet he is triggering all these emotions? What will happen to me once we meet in person? This i am asking myself and i don't want to be a prophet of doom for my own relationship but just the thought of it ending one day breaks my heart already.... Why do i have to overthink?
Anyway, i gotta hold on to the fact that he could be my prince charming... the one i have been waiting for so for now, let me be happy. I just have to fight off this aweful feeling.... this vulnerability i am feeling right now and all shall be well....
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