Overwhelmed!

Feeling stressed and sick… don't really know what I feel right now..Have never understood death…. It just goes for the people u love and love u…My dear friend was gunned down yesterday and I guess I got depressed since then and not even believed that he is dead. At some point he was servicing my car then from nowhere the phone call was made and since then am not myself anymore…Why would someone kill another? There is a line am trying to analyse…. Haki wameniwahi?? What does that mean??

Conceited attendant!!

Yesterday wasn't one of my best days…. Started the day very well launching our ministry's master plan and website at the same time to having heavy breakfast catered for by the ministry. Then I receive this call from my buddy who happened to be passing near where I had packed my car only to realize that it had been clamped…Don't even want to know what happened right after that. I guess my BP was so darn high I was getting dizzy and a mild headache and the rest of my day was fucked up. The only thing which consoled me was that my little gal had come from boarding school and was home waiting for me….

Anyway, today am ok and in great moods… ready for the closing ceremony of the anti-counterfeit induction course at KEPHIS. Lovely day you all….

Nzisah.

A little bit nervous…

Am a nervous wreck now….Just having some few issues with school but nothing I cant handle. Soliciting for help from my boyfriend which is not forthcoming…either way I still love him…He can be an angel at times…The past few days he's just romantic. His words, actions and attitude towards me has changed drastically… Just hoping that he doesn't get back to his mood swings again. Missed seeing a friend for sometime now though I understand that they are busy…but cant we make time for friends?? On other note, my bff is coming this month from Australia and I cant seem to get hold of my excitement…she's gonna be here for one month so I believe that we have plenty of time to catch up.

I love it when you do the small things for my heart melts from it…

Not so bad!!

At least am not complaining now... everything is going on well though i have a few things to sort out and am not worried about it coz am sure i can handle it... counting on a friend much lately and realised that sum friendships werent worth in either... Just wondering what excuse they will have for not honouring their promises.... some people can really be fake....

Not in the mood of writing now but am sure i'll have something to rant on later.... trying to sort out the mobile blogging in my phone.... not working though so i guess am gonna have to change handsets coz i really need it....

Later peeps!!

Nzisa.

Praying much harder!

I really am not sure of what am feeling right now... Have u ever reached a point where u dont even understand urself?? I went through my bf's text messages again and i realise there has been a certain Fiby.....talking lots of love stuff blah blah blah. Unlike me i stayed quiet over the whole issue and to be honest have not thought about it much since then...Now, last nite am not even sure what came over me and i send him a text telling him that i know about him and fiby and he writes back saying that she is married so there is nothing romantic going on btwn them. Does he think that am such a damb ass that i cant read between the lines or what? i didnt reply and to be honest i wont even talk about it again with him...i want to keep his sorry ass guessing and am pretty good at it too!!

Optimistic

Feeling quite optimistic today about this whole school thing. There was a time when i wasnt pretty sure that i would make it but as of yesterday... everything has just abruptly changed. Am having a very positive attitude towards the whole issue and i guess that a good sign is it?? I just hope that God will wont let me down this time. I really want to go to school regardless of the on goings which am sure i will keep aside once i commence the classes... My BF is being very supportive as well and i can only be grateful coz i know i can count on him...

I love u coz ur the song that plays in my dream.. which i never want to end!!!

So Low

I dont know how i get myself in such bad moods sometimes... I mean are some people ever serious?? how dare u plan a date with me and keep postphoning, i mean do you think am always here with nothing to do? Think again then my friend coz right now am pissed and i pray to God that u dont call me coz i dont know what am gonna say to you... Lord help me!!

Getting my ass back to school

Am having goose bumps just by thinking about school right now, i mean i was supposed to report in January but i post phoned citing a few issues here and there. I guess i lied to myself that i didnt have enough time to concentrate with school. My elder siz thought that i was being foolish for not wanting to further my education. Now am fully set and determined and am sure as a cock that come 10th may i'll be the 1st student in that class. Lord help me??

In other stories, my bf is still in coasto and am not sure when he is coming back. Not complaining though maybe its a sort of an holiday for him coz he is on leave. Talked to him last nite and he was fine. Still have to repair my car which was totally out my budget but whats a gal to do? i hate driving around with an ugly looking car....its got to be sexy and all...

Finally my daughter is settled in her new school and she is happy. Am gonna be visiting her in June, just cant wait...still thinking of what to buy her as a way of motivating her. She's growing very fast and next year she's gonna be a teenager...will i be able to handle that?

Oh lord give me the strength..

What is Trust?

Have been asking myself this question a lot lately and i don't seem to get anywhere with it. Even when i ask my friends about it they just bluff about it. Am starting to imagine it never had any meaning at all.. anyway that's my feeling about it for now. I used to trust people easily but not anymore. have been betrayed so many times and i don't think i can trust anyone again. Be it at work place or in relationships. I don't even who to trust. I say something confidential to my colleague and within some few days i hear about it from different quarters, whats that? he was supposed to be my friend? I give my love to u, loving you with all my soul and yet u go behind my back and sleep with someone else, whats trust then?? what does is it mean here? anyway.. its not even worth talking about right now.. gotta put my efforts into something else... like not trusting anyone?? u cant blame me...i gave it to you and you threw it away... its ur cake so eat it.

What is it? Lust or Love.....

Damn, if only am able to explain this feeling i have right now.
Am chatting with "him" and am getting this strong chills running down
my spine and am getting all mushy inside... i thought i was past that age of being intimidated?? i guess this if different then coz the more i vibe him the more i am into him and the more i
think and want him.. somebody tell me that am still in fantasy world?? Why lie i want it to be so real but am not sure whether this is for real or just one of those one off's.

Just felt like letting everyone know what am going through right now i just couldnt hold it anymore... i had to share it with someone..

Nice evening everyone..

Judy

Angered!

Am feeling damn angered right now, av planned for this to happen
but it seems that father nature had his own plans.
Now am stuck in the office with no option but to let it go....
how is he gonna understand that i had u asking me to sit in for u?
couldn't u have chose a better time? how sad...
now am not sure if am ever going to get the chance and i mean EVER!
Av never wanted something so badly like i want u now and i believe u know it so pls?
can u understand and let us plan for another day? Thank u baibe darling...