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Today is a beautiful day.... I guess i should start with last evening first... Well, as usual my guy called at 9p.m. and we talked on phone for nearly two hours.  I was shocked when we were done to look at the watch and there it was, one hour forty five minutes... damn, what was is it all about?..  It's really good to meet someone who you can hold down a conversation with... some people in the first two minutes you are done and dont know what next to say to each other... Well, it's totally different now, and he never tires to call on a daily basis regardless of the expenses involved... Can't wait for him to travel back to Amsterdam on Monday or Tuesday... atleast the time difference there isn't as big as in the United States... and again i know that i will be seeing him pretty soon....  On other news, the ex girlfriend send a friend request on facebook and i LOL'd about it... I mean, what does she expect from me? that i would accept her friendship? i don't know her... what games is she into? well, she can shove her requests up there for all i care... i clicked reject and don't know her outside facebook...

Anyway, enough about him.  It's a Friday and the day looks so bright and promising so am hoping for good things to come out of it... Otherwise let me wish everyone a beautiful weekend....

Cheers....

Happy New year.......

Today is one of those days when you wake up feeling so vulnerable for unknown reasons.  Well, if i say unknown reasons probably i am trying to just be dramatic and such....Should i just say that i am craving for some loving? probably, but then what good would it do me?... I guess i was meant to be alone for the rest of my life... I came across this statement and it sure describes me: “I wish I knew how to love someone without killing myself. How to mend hearts without breaking my own. How to kiss and not create bruises.”
— Michelle K., Things I Wish I Knew How To Do"....

I am an hopeless romantic, that's for sure.  I end up hurting myself when i get involved with someone.  I honestly don't know how to get sexual with someone without getting my feelings involved.  Silly me i know but that's how i am.  In simpler terms, i don't know how to sleep with someone kill the urge.  I end up getting my feelings involved and that's how i end up getting hurt... I am listening to "Toni Braxton, I hate love and i have all these emotions flaring up and all that... Since yesterday night i feel this way... I know you will want to know what triggered it... well, i was on phone with a dear one for hours and i guess our conversation triggered all these emotions.  Can you believe it, i haven't even met this person face to face yet and yet he is triggering all these emotions?  What will happen to me once we meet in person?  This i am asking myself and i don't want to be a prophet of doom for my own relationship but just the thought of it ending one day breaks my heart already....  Why do i have to overthink?  



Anyway, i gotta hold on to the fact that he could be my prince charming... the one i have been waiting for so for now, let me be happy.  I just have to fight off this aweful feeling.... this vulnerability i am feeling right now and all shall be well....